Jung
Sung Eun of Korea didn’t pass the qualification exam to become a
teacher. Tina Roper of Utah, USA, lost a job that she had expected to
turn into a career. Todd Schlensker of Ohio, USA, received a spiritual
confirmation to marry but saw his engagement come to an end. Alessia
Mazzolari (name has been changed) of Italy ended what appeared to be the
perfect relationship.
No
one likes having to resort to “plan B.” But even when our plans fall
through, Heavenly Father does not abandon His children. There are
multiple good ways for life to work out. In time, we may even find that
the roadblocks that changed our plans gave us needed insight and
experience (see D&C 122:7) and led to something better.
Building Character, Not Résumés
Sung
Eun had worked hard to achieve her lifelong dream of becoming a
teacher. She explains, “Because I have always tried to do my best in all
I do, I have almost always been able to obtain what I hoped and prayed
for.” But that didn’t happen when she took the teacher qualification
exam. “When I failed it,” she says, “I felt I had lost all my dreams in
one day.”
Tina
wasn’t initially worried when another company acquired the one she
worked for. The new organization promised her a long-term position, so
she moved closer to her work with high hopes of an exciting new job.
When the company laid her off a few months later, she felt “lost,
confused, sad, and quite scared.”
Rather
than focus completely on building their résumés, Sung Eun and Tina
realized they could also focus on building their character. Both women
found comfort through gospel study and prayer.
“The
Apostle Paul was a wonderful friend who helped me be patient and
continually confront challenges,” says Sung Eun. “He always had a
positive attitude and willingly waited for what God had for him, rather
than hoping for his own timing.
“I
learned something from his example: the period of waiting is not merely
the process that we must go through to get what we want. Rather, it is a
process by which we become who our Heavenly Father wants us to be
through changes we make.”
Tina
found that the change she needed most was a shift in perspective. “I
was surprised to discover that I had measured my self-worth in worldly
ideas of value,” she remembers. “I felt valuable because of my
employment and position, which were taken away. I now find my self-worth
in the eternal truths that I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father and I
have divine potential. These truths can never be taken away.”
Both
Tina and Sung Eun admit that while building character isn’t always
pleasant, the fruits of personal growth are sweet. Sung Eun says, “The
year after I failed the teacher qualification exam was not only the most
painful and depressing time period, but it was also the most precious. I
became more able to truly understand other people’s difficulties and
had a desire to help them with real intent and care.”
The examples of Ammon and his brothers in the Book of Mormon
showed Tina how the Lord was stretching her faith to help her reach her
full potential. “The Lord’s plan was for the Nephites to save their
Lamanite brothers instead of using a sword to solve the problem,” she
explains. “The sons of Mosiah were given a task that required greater
faith, but they were also given a promise that if they bore their
afflictions with patience, they would receive success (see Alma 26:27).
Being patient is one of my hardest trials because I want to understand
my entire plan—but I realized that Heavenly Father’s plan and timing for
us will always be the best.”
Keeping the Commandments No Matter What
Todd
faced a bright future upon returning from his mission. While attending
school, he met a wonderful young woman. After several months of
courtship and a spiritual confirmation, Todd proposed and she accepted.
They planned their wedding for the end of the summer, and both returned
home from school to prepare.
“Three weeks after we said our good-byes at school, she ended our engagement,” Todd recalls. “Heartbroken
could not express my feelings strongly enough. There were so many
unanswered questions in my mind; it didn’t make sense. I had received a
confirmation in the house of the Lord, and now our relationship was
over. My testimony had never been tested this hard.
“Unfortunately,
for years following my breakup, I couldn’t get past it. I didn’t know
how I could ever trust a feeling of confirmation again. I had always
trusted in the Lord and tried my best to keep the commandments,” he
continues. “It all seemed for naught.”
Alessia
also thought that her relationship with a certain young man was meant
to be. “Our story was so beautiful that, even though we had the normal
difficulties that every couple encounters, we thought the relationship
would never end,” she remembers.
When
Alessia’s boyfriend left on his mission, the separation was difficult
but for a different reason than Alessia had expected. “While he was
gone, I began to know myself better. I realized that many things in my
life were not yet right and that many times I had hidden behind some
silly ideas rather than humble myself and face reality,” she recounts.
“I had been living in a kind of fairy tale, as if being in love were
enough to make everything turn out right, and often this caused me to
overlook the most important things.”
Still,
Alessia expected a happy reunion and continued relationship after her
boyfriend’s mission. However, upon his return, the couple dated only a
short time before breaking up. “It was one of the most painful moments I
can remember,” says Alessia.
In
their respective experiences, Todd and Alessia both eventually
recognized that even though a key relationship in their lives was
altered, they couldn’t abandon their obedience and allegiance to the
Lord. He became their anchor when everything else was changing and
uncertain.
“I
didn’t have all the answers to why I got a confirmation to marry
someone, and it didn’t happen,” Todd recalls. “But I realized that
didn’t matter. What did matter is that I still had faith in Christ, and I was going to use that faith to trust in whatever the Lord had in store for me.”
Alessia
knew that completely pledging herself to the Lord would bring her the
strength that she needed. “I understood that the moment had arrived for
me to decide what kind of person I wanted to be,” she says. “Would I
continue to live life halfway, or would I start on the path to becoming a
true disciple of Christ? I wanted to know Him deeply, love Him truly,
and try to be a better person by obeying all His commandments—not just
externally but in my heart with true honesty.”
Developing Hope in the Future and Faith in Christ
After
being confronted with unanticipated setbacks, all four of these young
adults struggled to find the courage to live in the present and again
plan for the future. But they found that their faith in the Lord grew.
Sung
Eun remembers that after failing her examination, trying new things
became difficult. But then came a crucial discovery: “I realized that
the real failure is to dwell on the past and make little effort to try
to work things out. I decided that rather than continuing to be sad, I
should turn this difficult time into an opportunity to learn. My ability
to understand life in general broadened and deepened, and I learned
that the end of one thing always brings about the beginning of something
else.” She has since retaken and passed the exam and is now “a happy
teacher who enjoys spending time with students each day.”
Tina
chose to trust that something was waiting for her, even though it was
difficult to face an uncertain future. “I decided to reenter school, and
there I studied the art and technology field, an area I had desired to
become involved in but I did not possess the needed skills,” she
explains. “I am ready to start another adventure, a much better one,
thanks to the wisdom of my Heavenly Father.”
Todd
continued trying to date for six years and worked to develop trust in
the Lord. Even when he met women he admired very much, he had to fight
to keep his doubts from the past from destroying his hopes for the
future. “Finding the determination not to succumb to my doubts of six
years was not easy,” he says. “But I was firm in attempting to prove to
myself that I really did trust in the Lord and His promptings, even
though I had been angry with Him before.” A new relationship eventually
led to a temple marriage.
“I
often wonder why the Lord blessed me with someone as great as my wife
when I struggled so long to fully trust the feelings of the Spirit,”
reflects Todd. “It is a testimony to me that the Lord is waiting to
bless us, but it’s always on His timetable.”
Alessia,
by rededicating herself to the Lord, developed a deep and personal
testimony. “The plan of salvation became real for me, and my covenants
became more binding and deep. Christ’s Atonement was not theory anymore
or something that I had read about, perhaps too superficially. A change
of heart was happening inside, and I had a sure witness.” Today, she
says, she feels like a new person.
Regardless
of the turns life’s journey may take, the final destination of eternal
life is what Heavenly Father plans for His children (see Moses 1:39). Some may even find that “plan B” was simply a way of making His “plan A” a reality.
Thank you Christy for sending me to this article.
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