My life changed, irreparably, three years ago. As time goes on, I feel like things are going back to normal. That I am going back to normal.
And then it happens...
I am lazily scrolling through facebook, seeing what the few people I have kept as friends are doing and I see it.
A picture.
Of him.
With her.
My stomach turns. I start to feel very angry and then it turns into a very deep hurt. Lingering feelings of betrayal. It messes with my head and then messes with my day.
I have a new life. In a new state. New friends. I have a new husband. With him, I have a beautiful baby girl. New everything.
So I sit wondering, when does it stop? When can an unexpected picture not unearth such feelings? When will it be just a picture?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
It will stop when you are completely healed and that takes time. Some times it takes a very long time. But, I've learned that sometimes when those emotions surface again, it gives you an opportunity to heal more as your turn to the Savior. Little by little, with each reminder, you will be given more understanding and help. Personally I am grateful for the little reminders because they allow you to heal over time as you grow instead of one gigantic incredibly painful growth spurt.
It is hard, but you can do hard things. And hard things take time.
Ditto what Christy said, and also when you have forgiven him, you'll be free.
I didn't say it would be easy, that's got to be one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, but it's the only way to let go of all the pain.
Love you so much and I hate that you have to feel this way.
:'( I wish I had some advice. All I can say is I love you and lean on the Savior.
The biggest thing I have learned lately is often we think the atonement is for the "other" person. In all reality the atonement is really for us when we need additional strength, it is there for us to lean on especially when we are weak. I am sorry that you have the pain, but each time you address your "trauma" eventually it moves from a deep pain to a dull ache. Healing takes time and isn't always something that can be rushed. You will need to be gentle on yourself and not be critical/judgmental when you have your moments of "weakness." Hang in there girlee oh! I am glad that your life changed and you are now in my life.
Post a Comment